


Sirius Remembered

by marauders_4_life



Series: NaNoWriMo July 2019 Stories [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Getting Together, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Period-Typical Homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-04-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:28:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23825329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marauders_4_life/pseuds/marauders_4_life
Summary: Sirius remembered that he hadn’t always known that his soulmate was a werewolf. But he had known for a long time now.Sirius remembered that he hadn't always known that he was going to have a happy life, but now he does and he never wants to forget it.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: NaNoWriMo July 2019 Stories [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1716592
Comments: 2
Kudos: 57





	Sirius Remembered

**Author's Note:**

> TW: Child Abuse and Homophobic Slurs  
> If those topics will trigger you then please don't read.

Sirius remembered that he hadn’t always known that his soulmate was a werewolf. But he had known for a long time now.

Sirius remembered when he was five and he stayed up one-night to watch red gashes bloom on his chest. He had gone down to breakfast that morning asking his parents about the marks that appeared on his skin. His mother explained how all wizards and witches, even those dreadful muggleborns and halfbloods, have soulmates. It would be close to impossible to find your soulmate on your own, so instead, you get a helping hand to make it easier. Whatever cuts, scrapes, or bruises your soulmate gets, you will get as well; however, you only get the visual marks, there is no pain, no blood, or actual damage. 

Sirius remembered telling his parents about the next time the marks appeared, but his father had told him to keep it to himself. That if his soulmate was clumsy and accident-prone like they appeared to be that it doesn’t matter to anyone but the two of them. Looking back Sirius doesn’t know if they knew about his soulmate or if they only wanted to get him to shut up.

Sirius remembered as he grew up the marks continued to happen, some similar to the blooming gashes that came at night while others were different and the result of being an active child. But one summer night when he was six, when those red gashes appeared, he marked down the date on a piece of spare parchment. The next time it happened he marked down another date. And again the next time. The date always appeared random, there were about fourteen in total now, until a few months before Sirius’ seventh birthday. His tutor had started his lessons in astronomy, the basic concepts like the moon chart, and the names of constellations. Sirius learned that the last full moon was two days before, and two days before Sirius had stayed up late into the night watching the painless cuts once again bloom across his body. 

Sirius remembered going back to his room that night after dinner and getting into bed with his book given to him by his tutor. Once the grandfather clock downstairs in the parlor made the twenty-one muffled booms, Sirius tossed his book away and bolted to his desk knowing that everyone else in the house was bound to be sleeping by then. He compared the dates on the moon chart to the dates he had written down during the past year. The dates of the full moon matched up with the ones on the paper. 

Sirius remembered not knowing what his discovery meant. 

Sirius remembered that when he was only two weeks away from turning eight his tutor’s lesson was on werewolves. For the past few weeks, Sirius had been learning about dark creatures, his parents wanted him to be prepared for the classes he would be taking at Hogwarts. He learned about how werewolves were dangerous monsters who should be hunted and killed. About how they injured themselves when they transformed and how they injured the innocent people around them. He also learned that they transformed on the night of the full moon.

Sirius remembered making the connection a few weeks later when once again he watched as his body was being painlessly torn apart. It was the full moon and his soulmate was getting hurt. It had to be a coincidence but Sirius knew that it wasn’t. 

Sirius remembered how for a while every full moon brought waves of complex feelings about his soulmate. How could he love her when she was a monster?

Sirius remembered when his father knocked him down the stairs, again, at age ten. And when his father would hit him with the belt. And when his father would carve words into Sirius’ skin as small as he could, but large enough that every time Sirius’ showered or changed he was able to read them. He wondered what his soulmate would think when she received a copy of his injuries. Sirius knew he deserved them, as he had been trying extra hard to break his parents' rules but she didn’t know that. 

Sirius remembered when his soulmate would get her injures when it wasn’t a full moon. When she would get bruises that look similar to his after he was pushed down staircases. When she would get lines on her back, once again looking eerily similar to Sirius’ own after a punishment. When she would get words on her stomach and thighs, but they were large and illegible. Sirius wondered if she was going through the same thing he was and why? Was it because of what she was? Sirius had grown to accept the fact that he may he soulmates with a monster; but he definitely wouldn’t be marrying one, his parents would make sure of that. 

Sirius remembered getting to Platform Nine and Three Quarters with his family; looking into the crowd and spotting a young brown-haired boy all by himself. Sirius felt his heart being lit on fire and his stomach filling with butterflies, it sounded like the description he heard you felt when you first saw your soulmate. For a moment Sirius was worried about the boy being his soulmate until the boy moved out of the way and behind him stood a girl talking to her parents. 

Sirius remembered flying above the quidditch pitch in his second-year. James had been so excited to try out for chaser and convinced Sirius to try out for the empty beater spot. None of them knew that Sirius was going to fall off his broom after being hit by a bludger, and as Sirius was trying to push away the concerned Gryffindors while feeling the cut on his forehead he thought that maybe quidditch wasn’t his thing. But those thoughts left his mind the moment he saw that Remus had what he would imagine was a matching cut on his own forehead. 

Sirius remembered stuttering out something similar to “I can stand up by myself” and pushing away the helpful hands of his housemates while listening to some of the Gryffindor team members making kissing sounds as Remus felt his own painless wound. 

Sirius remembered the awkward stroll of shame he had done while waking into the dorm room, waiting for Remus and the others to yell “Get away from me you faggot”, but it never happened. Instead, James badgered him about being the best man at the wedding and suggesting Peter as the flower girl. 

Sirius remembered Remus sneaking into his bed that night after James had started snoring and casting a silencing charm; for a few seconds Sirius was surprised that Remus could preform one as it was a fifth-year charm, but then again Remus did do most of the advanced charms during their pranks. After a few moments of waiting, Remus asked him if he knew. It took Sirius a minute to understand what his friend, his soulmate, meant. Did Sirius know that he was a werewolf? He said yes, that he knew for a long time, then explained how he knew. When Remus said that he would be writing home to his mother requesting to leave in the morning; Sirius said that he would fight Remus if he tried to leave then hold his friend hostage for the next five years in the smelly, dirty and messy dorm room. 

Sirius remembered the twists and turns that life made between that night in second-year and now. The homophobia, the sad conversations about what happened behind their families closed doors, being kicked out of both of their homes, the war, and most recently James and Lily’s funeral. Sirius still couldn’t believe that his three-fifths of his best friends were gone, even though Harry had been living with them for weeks now. But yet with the bad memories came the good ones; the pranks, his and Remus’ fun but illegal wedding, James and Lily’s less fun, in his opinion, but more legal wedding, and Regulus banging on his door one night poisoned and begging to be let in. 

Sirius remembered that he hadn’t always known that he was going to have a happy life, but now he does and he never wants to forget it.

**Author's Note:**

> If you see any typos please inform me, all I want to do is improve my writing.  
> This was part of the NaNoWriMo July event that happened in 2019 that I just got around to editing, because of all my extra free time now. The prompt was from Pintrest, if you want to see the original post then use this link ( https://pin.it/25FCYt8 ).


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